It's all about D

So, I hate the fact that I am an upper twenties woman that is single.  I know there are a lot of us out there, but... I am not good at the whole being single thing.  My first marriage happened when I found out I was going to have children.  I didn't want to get married, but it was the right thing to do.  I hadn't had my wild streak, I hadn't even been with anyone else and I realize that may be a good thing but I had some wild oats to sew.  I went through with the wedding and we split one day short of our first anniversary.  I had always told myself that I would never get divorced, no matter what.  Well, I was more than happy to break that rule.  I was now a single mom and was going to be on the dating scene once again.  I didn't know how to handle that because I was still very young and yet wanted to go out a lot.  I realized I was still somewhat attractive to men and found myself in a long time 'buddy' relationship.  I think I was falling for him, but he being even a handful of years older than me, was still not as mature as most 18 year olds.  He would cheat on me and I would okay it because I liked him.  Well, he found someone who was a better 'buddy' so off he went and so another 2 years of my life went by and I still didn't have The One.  Shortly after my buddy and I broke things off, I started partying really hard for a while.  I was developing a crush on a guy but didn't think that I would have a chance.  Well him and I started hanging out quite a bit and we finally went out on a date.  We both kinda decided we wanted to try to make things work.  After the other relationships I was in I decided that I was going to be the boss in this new relationship.  It worked, he really, really liked me but I was very aloof because to show emotions at this point wasn't in my plans.  I secretly wanted my buddy back and was just using this new guy, whom we will call Derek, to try and make him jealous.  Well after a little bit of time, I started falling for Derek.  That's all I have time for today, but I will pick up soon from where I left off and also talk about the other many men that have swept through my life, including a new guy I am wooing who seems to be oblivious!!